We all float down here
First, let me be clear about something. This is a B-comedy slasher movie. Nothing more, nothing less. If you keep that in mind before watching the movie and have literally zero expectations, then you will have a good time, like me. Keep in mind that I literally said “fuck it” and went to see this movie on my own (because I don’t think anybody would have wanted to watch it with me), and I did have fun, though I think that it’s best for you to watch this movie as much as you can with your friends to get the full experience. Secondly, this movie is shit, literally. The acting and the dialogue are so bad, the plot is absurd, and the and the characters are just… The only rewarding thing about the movie is the occasional use of prostetics and practical effects, but… for fucks sake, why stop??? There are literally some really fun kills that include practical effects, and you ruin it with this fucking Nokia 3310 CGI effect. Whats the point in making the effort and doing all that just to be ruined at the end? That was so frustrating to see through the whole movie, and I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Oh, and let me comment on one other thing. Fuck you, Rhys Frake-Waterfield. Money-grabbing is at its best. Let’s be honest, nobody would even know that this movie was made if it weren’t for the Winnie the Pooh name. Once again. Fuck you. Maybe next time put in a little bit of effort and some extra money that you made from the even shittier first Winnie the Pooh movie that you made. So after all that, why did I say that I had fun? Because I am a sucker for slasher movies, all right, its a mental problem… In fact, I would put this movie in the “Its so bad that its good” category. DUDE, ITS THE FUCKING WINNIE THE POOH WITH AN AXE. So because there is literally no other thing that I can comment on without spoiling it, SUCK MY DICK WINNIE THE POOH UNIVERSE. When is the sequel coming out??? Asking for my “friend,” of course.
4/10
PROS
- OCCASIONAL usage of practical effects
- Fun if you are high
CONS
- Fuck bad CGI
- Bad characters
- Stupid plot
- High school type acting
- Money grabbing ending
SPOILER REVIEW
Ok, I have soo many questions about this movie, and i think that there is not a answer for any of them. Why is Christopher Robin a crying pussy? No answer. Why is there a stupid plot about child abduction? No answer. Why is Winnie the Pooh as the main bad guy, a fucking weakest of them all (except for the pork guy, he was literally a human shield for the bad guys). No answer. HOW DID THE 3 HUMAN-LIKE ANIMALS ROLL INTO TOWN WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING??? NO FUCKING ANSWER. I mean at least the kills were dope, especially the dishawher-knife scene. gnarlly dude. The whole party massacre was a bit dragged out for my opinion, they literally slaughtered 3/4 of town population, but hey who am I to judge. I literally dont think that there is something i can talk about for a longer period of time about this movie. So im not going to. To finish this off, ending was such a let down. I dont understand it , the honey brings the animals back to life, or do they have a abilty to regenerate? I know that there were talks about theem containing this ability but whatever. I literally have nothing else to say soooooo, see ya in the rankings.